Marriage isn’t always filled with happy moments. Far from the dreams of a fairytale wedding, marriage brings back reality. Committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life can come with a lot of surprises. Sometimes it’s perfect bliss, other times it’s nothing but boredom, and still at certain times, it could be filled with anger. Here 5 Ladies who discovered a few realities after marriage open up.
- Marriage is different from a long-term relationship
“When you are not married to someone you are in a long relationship with, you may be tempted to think it’s the same as being married. Many Cameroonian ladies tend to think so. But in my case, after our wedding, everything was different. The degree of engagement increased. It was no longer a matter of who worn over an issue or not. It was about our family. We actually became “family” after our wedding.” – Eli, 36
- There is a lot of adapting to do.
We both had to adapt to accommodating each other in one bedroom. .When Ivan and I were dating we never got to live together. We only visited each other occasionally; he worked out of town, and we dated for about a year. At the beginning, it was difficult for me to deal with his snoring. He did not snore all the time but when he did, it was horrible. While we dated i did not notice that aspect, marriage made it a reality.” Bernice, 39 years old.
- Marriage is Work
“My husband and I did not date for long. It was love at first sight, or at least it felt that way, until after marriage. For the first two years, I had my way. He showered me with gifts and gave in to my demands and I knew I was the luckiest wife in the world. Problem is, I started taking these kind gestures for granted and did not take my wifely responsibilities seriously. It had nothing to do with cooking or housework. I was married but i still took decisions as if I were single, without talking things out with my husband first. Also I had the bad habit of fleeing (to my I finally realized that, I wasn’t in a dating relationship anymore. I had sworn before God and men to be in a relationship that i had to work hard to keep going. By working hard here, it means adapting to the changes you experience, skillfully. And accepting the fact that it’s no longer only about you alone, but about You and your Husband and Kids (Family)” Ngwi, 40.
- Getting Married Does Not Solve Your Financial Problems.
“I remember, before i met my husband, I always imagined that if I married a rich young man, I would get financial independence from my parents and be on my own (at least that’s what i thought). Well, if you decide to be a housewife, you just changed to another individual on whom you will be financially dependent on – Your husband. And even if you don’t realize it in the beginning, husbands are stricter than parents. Forget that he told you he will get the moon down for you. Most men, with all the family responsibility they have to handle, calculate a lot before giving out money to their wives. Don’t be surprised that your children get more pocket money than you do.” Sylvia, 51
- After getting married, love takes on a new form.
“I’ve realized what a true gesture of love really is. I no longer expect grandeur, like a rose petal-covered bed. Instead, I appreciate the little things, like him folding my laundry or getting up early on Saturdays to handle with our daughter so I can sleep in. That is true love.” —Anne, 39