July 19, 2017
Cheating, most of the time, is defined by a partner looking elsewhere for sexual gratification other than in their marriage. But the truth is, you have probably been unfaithful and it was not sexual. Being unfaithful to your partner is much more than just straying away sexually. Many people think that sexual cheating is the ultimate betrayal, yet it is important to accept the fact that before sexual cheating is accomplished, there are a number of other mini betrayals that occur. Let’s be real, a spouse will not just go from being loving and romantic and overnight become a cheat. There is usually a series of mini betrayals, things that occur in your marriage that crack the relationship’s foundation. It’s these less obvious betrayals that actually do the most damage. Sexual cheating is a symptom of a relationship already on the rocks. The person who was cheated on will say it’s all the cheater’s fault, but it is usually indicative of deeper issues. Cheating isn’t ever justified but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
In this type of cheating situation, One spouse is starving of emotional affection, and may have given up on receiving any from their spouse. In certain cases the spouse may be depressed or going through some emotional trouble that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their spouse. Then someone they know, a co-worker for instance pays attention to them, laughs at their jokes, and provides a listening ear to their heartfelt talk. This begins to build a connection between them. The spouse in this case may justify this emotional cheating situation, because it does not involve any sexual betrayal. To them, it is the lesser of both evils. They can stay in their marriage and still have the emotional fulfillment they are looking for. But the truth is, if you know your spouse will be uneasy if they knew the nature of your relationship with this friend, then you are cheating. Period.
The Online Affair
In this android generation, Cameroonians have embraced online activities very tightly. A lot of affairs start online through the various social media available now. Some people seem to find comfort in the positive comments and attention they receive online. It may seem innocent in the beginning until you find yourself sharing illicit messages with someone whom you have never met yet share a certain intimacy with. Many online cheaters think because they are sharing a physical relationship with anyone, they are not cheating. Well that is false. By so doing, you are putting cracks on the foundation of your marriage.
Staying Glued to a Past Relationship
If you are constantly think of a partner from a past relationship and reliving the love story you both shared, you are not doing your present spouse a favor. Keeping a cordial relationship with an ex is normal, but keeping that person in your mind with emotional reminders is not fair to your present spouse. Remember that if your relationship with that person did not work it was for a reason (maybe even many important reasons). Make conscious effort to stop and give your spouse the attention they deserve.
There is a time in a relationship when a spouse decides to follow their dream and carry out some passionate activity full-time. This may include: Business, politics, sports, religion, etc… What happens in this case is that the husband or wife becomes so obsessed over their activity that they no longer cater to the needs of their spouse. To them that activity is a priority. Generally the problem with such activities is that it does not strengthen the bond in the relationship. If anything, it pulls the spouses apart.
Lack of financial transparency between couples can cause major problems. It often leads to broken trust. Financial infidelity may involve a partner lying about their spending habits, investing money in ventures without their spouses knowledge, supporting other financially without the spouses knowledge, keeping any form of spending or financial decision-making a secret etc… Couples would do well to try their best to avoid this kind of cheating because in many cases it leaves the deepest scars.
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